简单就是一种幸福

Ever since I was a little kid, when I was watching TV shows/episodes, I let myself dragged into the story, being one of the characters.  Emotionally, I am incapable of upholding who I am,  and eventually I got myself thrown into all the imaginations, pretending that I am part of them.

I am emotionally impaired, seriously.  By saying this, I am not demeaning myself, but just restating the fact.  Notwithstanding I am perceived as a confident, open and rational person in public, I am someone with the ability less than a teenager to control my internal emotion deep down.  Sometimes I start questioning myself - am I acting in front of others? am I just a big liar ever?  Yap, that sounds helpless and hopeless.

When people see this, they might think I am a typically corporate snob.  Maybe I am indeed one.  I don't deny it nor do I think that's necessarily a bad thing.  Everyone needs to survive and to earn its own living, using different approaches.  Pretending to be a nice person might well be my approach.

Honestly I don't mind, because despite being incapable in many things, at least, I am able to separate my work life (an A++++ one) and my personal emotional life (a F---- one).  This is my way of survival.

Everytime I watched Ally McBeal, I am or will always be emotionally unstable for a certain period of time.  Guessed what, I am throwing myself into the story, again.  It just takes time to let this go away - in the realistic corporate world, being a corporate bitch.